The New Ego of the Gay World

When did we become so pompous that we must treat each other with such great animosity and disrespect?  The us to which I am referring is the gay community.  I have noticed in the last few months that gay men in particular, are becoming increasingly more hostile towards each other, and know nothing other than playing mind games with each other.

Robert and I, when we get bored, tend to go online to chat rooms and talk to people.  In both of our current professions, we are not around a lot of gay people, whether that be couples or just individuals.  Making friends in the age of MySpace.com and AIM is not an easy task, since most of the people on those sites only want to increase the number of friends on their profile, but not actually socialize with these people at all.  I know, new concept, but I always felt that a “friend” was someone that you actually talked to, hung out with, and did enjoyable things with.  Apparently, somewhere between the time I was 19 and now that has totally changed.  I am guessing it is due to the loss of manners, etiquette, and general lack of personality most people have these days.

Back to topic.  We go online and try to chat people up, see if we may have similar interests, and go from there.  It would be nice to have a small-knit group of friends who we can actually go out with, or invite over for the occasional movie night.  By saying that, I realize that I am making us sound old at this point, but once you settle down and buy that home, I think you get into nesting mode.  Going through various chat rooms, we try to talk to people around our age up to their mid-30’s, simply because that age range would have the most in common with us.  What is the point in trying to be friends with someone who does not share any common likes or activities?  What we have encountered has been downright disgusting.

Over the course of the last few months, we have noticed that if you even try to say hi to many people, they come back with a comment like, “I don’t hook up so leave me alone.”  That is it.  No hello, how are you, no comment like, “Just to let you know, I am not into hook-ups.” Nothing.  Just plain rude behavior.  First off, we never said we are trying to sleep with these people.  I never knew that the word hello was now code for drop your pants now.  Maybe I have started to loose touch with the gay world, and hi is slang for sex.  I am thinking more along the lines though, that these people are getting so conceded, that they actually believe everyone wants them.  This view comes from talking to various people, all which have told me that when they go out on dates and the like, the person spends more time talking about themselves, and texting on their phones, than actually participating in the date itself. 

I am not sure what these people are honestly thinking at this point in time.  First off, we do not even want sex. Secondly, if we did, these people would be in deep trouble, mainly due to the fact that they are not attractive, have absolutely no personality whatsoever, and are built like twigs.  I am not quite sure what they think they have to offer, but in all honesty, they are coming up highly short in every department. The sad thing is, I do not believe that all gay communities are like this.  I have been to Chicago, grew up in Orlando, and neither behave in this manner.  I really am starting to think that Columbus, Ohio is a huge magnet for idiots.  I know we have OSU here, which does draw in the, “I am so great, high and mighty, and people should bow to my every whim because I got into a state school” crowd, but still. 

I think the most frustrating part of all of it is the simple fact that the only way you can deal with it, is to sink down and become catty.  We have tried to explain to people that we are just trying to make friends, and usually, they come back with a whatever response and then trash talk you instead.  Yes, this behavior all over saying, literally, hi to them.  The only way it doesn’t totally irk us, other than just being hermits, is to go off on these people, and attempt to put them in their place. Seems like for most of them, they get off on stringing people along, playing mind games, and then showing their true colors after the fact.  Makes you wonder if, when they are behaving like this, if they realize that they are coming off as total jerks, which no one would actually want to associate with once they are found out, and one day, one of those people would turn around and write an article on the internet about them.

I think my way of dealing with this new sudden explosion of total and utter ego is going to be simple.  From here forward, I will keep a list of every user name, chat room name, and date when a person acts like an idiot. From there, I am going to post it on here, and anywhere else where I can blog.  Maybe, if they get embarrassed and called out enough on their behavior, it will change.  Seems that there is no other way to enact such change without total and utter humiliation.  If that is the new way to deal with these self-righteous types, then so be.

So do us all a favor.  Don’t be “that guy.”  The one who comes in a room, acts all nice, and the second someone is actually just trying to talk to you, you become a huge narcissist.  Show the world you have manners, and that, I know shock, you are a human being.  Maybe through this, we can all start to become a little nicer to each other, and society can slowly get back on track.